I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think your dad took our porno
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
