There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
