youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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