Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
