i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
