We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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