just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
