How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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