Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
