i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
