The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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