I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
