CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
