i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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