I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
