I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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