I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
