no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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