Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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