So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
