Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
