No stitches, just platelets and will power
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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