She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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