it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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