What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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