Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
