i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
