I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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