considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Semen is not good for contacts.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
