Yo dont text me then not text me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize