Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
