Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
