that's an acceptable place to lick
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
