chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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