No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
