Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
