i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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