help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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