if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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