I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
