I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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