I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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