Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
