i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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