38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
