Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
