I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize