I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
