home. puking in laundry basket.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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