haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
