im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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