those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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