My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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