While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
