he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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