I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
