i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
