She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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