Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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