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also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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