fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
