He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize