dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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