I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
