I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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