Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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