I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
