Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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