dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
