How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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