its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
