remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
