well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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