sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
